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Writer's pictureRiley Smith

The Camel is Dead

Again, I no longer remember this dream at all. Mr. Nick (a high school math teacher who, legendarily, threw up when he got north wrong in class once) was a teacher on a tv show with me and we talked about slang. Sounds like a real good one.


I woke up for an early morning job interview very hungover. I could see my face on the video chat and I definitely looked like complete shit. My eyes are red, my face is swollen. During the interview, the hr manager ask me to sing a song. I pull out a rendition of "Happy Birthday." I'm not going to win a Grammy any time soon, but I can tell, the hr manager is pretty impressed. God I hate job interviews.


My mother asks me about my health again. I don't respond.


I have a half drunk glass of gin from last night. I down it and head out to the shitty chicken restaurant to eat some shitty chicken. Then I come back to my apartment and take a nap.


At work, Boss Lady asks me to dance again. I tell her to add it so my schedule. I'm done with this shit.


During my break, Peter gives me a "man toe." He says the English translation means "steamed bread." It's basically a bun without any filling. Peter is saving up to buy his girlfriend a fancy birthday present (proof that the married woman is not Peter's girlfriend.) He is buying her a mirror (shit gift.) To save money, Peter is only eating "man toe" now.


I get an email from my dad. He is telling me to come home too. I guess my parents are worried about my mental health, but they just don't get it now. I have to beat China. If I come home now, I lose. Plus, if I come home now, I will have to move back in with my parents. As sad as being lonely in China is, moving back in with my parents just seems too low. I have to make this work. I really fucking have too.


One of the teachers, Monica, always calls me "Teacher Riley." I have started calling her "Teacher Monica" back. This always makes her laugh. I don't understand why she thinks calling her Teacher Monica is funny if she calls me Teacher Riley. I also don't understand why she calls me Teacher Riley.


After work, I have a meeting with stupid fucking Boss Lady in the office. She basically tells me that the school will let me go, but they will fine me $2,000 dollars (American) and they will write me a very bad letter of recommendation so I will be unable to find new work (even though they admit, I have been doing terrific work.) I storm out of the office, absolutely livid. When I get home, I smash my broken chair against the wall a few more times for good measure.


It looks worse in real life

I drink more gin and keep watching stupid Schitts Creek. Fernanda sends me a message asking about my situation. I respond by asking her to get dinner with me Sunday night. She doesn't respond.


When I got to the bathroom to brush my teeth before heading to bed, it seems that the water has been shut off in my apartment. I've lost count of straws. The camel is dead.

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