I oversleep and barely get to school on time. I'm am clutching on to life by a thread. I think the rice and oyster sauce is really starting to affect me.
In Sakey's class this morning, I have to teach the kids the word "acorn nut." I want to explain that we just call them acorns, not acorn nuts, but it seems like it's not worth the trouble. No one ever really appreciates being corrected, even when they are incredibly incorrect.
For my first six hours of work today, I worked non-stop without a break. This, on no food and no sleep, is absolutely exhausting. I can barely keep my eyes open, my vision is becoming blurry. I can no longer tell if children are speaking to me in Chinese or English.
There is a part of me that thinks I intentionally did this to myself, in a weird way. Sure, I got fucked over real hard, but couldn't I have done somethings differently? I sometimes think that if I crack, all of a sudden a great amount of genius will come pouring forth. There is some point of no return, when a person becomes truly mad, where they can then become a true artist and start constantly building beautiful, creative, mind bending pieces that both speak to peoples hearts and shit themselves from laughing. This is a fallacy. In reality, you just become exhausted and too tired to create anything. It's unhealthy and it's dangerous. Don't live on rice.
Luckily, I remembered Josie had some snacks in her desk so during lunch time I chowed down on two Chinese rice crispy treats. I call them rice crispy treats because I don't know what else to call them, but there is no marshmallow and they are much less sweet. I guess they are basically rice bars with a little brown sugar, but they tasted different enough to enjoy them immensely. I also found a packet of ramen, which I snuck into my bag to eat for dinner.
During my break, the fucking boss lady game in, stroked my arm, and tried to get me to dance with the children. I tried to explain to her that this was my first and only break of the day, but she kept grabbing at me and trying to get me to go. I told the others to explain this to her and she eventually gave up. If you want me to dance, put it on my schedule.
I sat down on the couch for a moment, and the next thing I knew I woke up to Josie shaking me. I had slept through my break and had to get back to work.
Pencil. Pen. Ruler. Eraser. Paper. Paper Clip.
Red. Blue. Yellow. Green. Orange. Purple. Pink. White. Black. Gray (I keep telling them they spell it wrong but they don't care.) Brown.
When I get home, I cook the Ramen but their is no flavor packet in the package, so it's just plain ramen. It was absolutely disgusting. I couldn't believe just noodles could taste so bad. I ended up throwing it out. It was shocking that I would prefer rice over anything on day 8, but this ramen was pure garbage.
Now out of soy sauce, I just eat rice with oyster sauce and pepper. I also try to eat one of my pears, but I take a bite and it seems to have turned on me. So I make do with the rice.
I'm too exhausted to do anything else. I go to bed at 8:00pm.