The dreams are back. This one I still remember pretty vividly, because it was really scary. I was living in a tent with some friends including a girl who looked a lot like Mitchell but, because it was a dream, I know wasn't Mitchell. We had to sneak through a house filled with zombies to save our friends, but I kept getting caught and having my whole head swallowed. Because dreams, like video games, have unlimited lives, I finally learned how to get the timing right and snuck me and my squad through the scary house and free ourselves from the horrors withing. Afterwards, the girl who looked like Mitchell but wasn't Mitchell and I fell in love. For once, my nightmares had a pretty happy ending.
Today was Alex Ho's birthday. I love Alex Ho much more than I love myself and more than I love most things in this world. I filmed and sent him a little birthday message, and saw my face for the first time in weeks. Jesus, I look terrible. I really should try to take better care of myself. I hope everything is okay with me because I don't look good.
I watched John Oliver's episode on the China one child policy today and found out there are 32 million more men then women in China do to this policy. The whole episode was disturbing and horrible, but, as a human, I can't help but think from a selfish standpoint. 32 million more men? No wonder it's hard for me to find a date. Why would a single guy ever come here. 32 million more men is a bad a ratio by any standard. China is a real sausage fest.
I'm teaching back at the kindergarten today and one of the kids shows me his rock collection before class. I think this kid might be a little slow, all the teachers treat him like he has a learning disability, but this kid is better than any of the other kids at English. He's like a rain man but instead of counting cards he can learn foreign languages. The only problem is, none of the teachers speak any English, so no one but me can see this kid's abilities and I can't explain it to the teachers because they don't understand me. I would kidnap him and bring him to America with me, but you can't make money the same way speaking English that you could counting cards.
At the school today, they have me come into an office with a bunch of student's moms before class starts. These moms love me. Like, really love me. They all just stare at me the whole meeting. I have no idea what anyone is talking about, but I think I killed it. I am really feeling white privilege. No one fawns over me like this in America. This is purely because of the color of my skin.
These kindergarten kids are tough, especially the three year olds.. They really don't have any attention span or understanding of the English language and they pretty quickly devolve into speaking Chinese to each other and running around the class room. I have no T.A. here so I sort of give up and just watch them run around. I get through barely any of my lesson plans.
After class, I have to wait and dance with the kids while we wait for them to get picked up. The dances are choreographed, and two of them have shaking your butt, which makes the kids laugh very hard. Whenever the butt shake part happens, some of the kids will run up and try to touch my butt, which I do not like at all. No one should have their butt touched if they don't want their butt touched. (Once I kissed Mitchell's butt and she got very mad at me. If you are reading this, I'm sorry Mitchell. I only kissed your butt because Ioved you.) Kids shouldn't shake their butts anyways, we would never allow this in America. You can't blame the kids for wanting to touch my butt, when I shake my butt it is at their face level. It's unfair for everyone involved.
Between the kindergarten and Langen, I run home a grab a pear for a snack. As I was the pear, I accidentally splash water all over my dick and have to change my pants. When I hop on Benji, I accidentally drop my pear. So much for all of that, what a waste of everything.
Metal still hasn't messaged me back. I guess I'll have to come up with something later. Fernanda hasn't responded to my last text either. When Sakey enters the office, she says hi to me but then leaves. None of these women are interested in me. I need to move on.
Josie is back at work today for the first time in while. She brings some sort of fruit for me that is very good but I have no idea what it is. It's a good fruit though. I would eat it again definitely. Josie and I still don't really talk though. I don't know how mendable our relationship is.
Meanwhile, I'm still sneakily applying for jobs and I sort of fucking hate these agents. I tell them I want to find a job in Beijing or Shanghai and they keep telling me that other cities are good to and that they have pubs or expats. I fucking understand. But I don't just want a few pubs or expats, I want a real fucking city. I want to live in Beijing or Shanghai. Don't try to convince me I want things I don't want. Just fucking listen to what I say and then help me find those offers. If I'm not in Beijing, I might as well be in Gaochun, right? I want the best.
One of my students has started calling me pig. She keeps saying, "Hello pig." and laughing. I know I shouldn't let this get to me, but it does. I'm not a pig at all. Pig seems pretty insulting to me. I don't like it. I'm not a pig
I find some powdered coffee in a little pouch and mix it with some hot water in my water bottle. I put it in my backpack and it leaks all over all of my stuff. (I don't think my water bottle is very good, it leaks a lot. All of my books have watermarks.)
Josie tries to put me on Halloween duty for the training center's Halloween party. She wants me to build a pinata and download an American Halloween kids movie to play. I doubt I will do any of this, I'm too mad at the school to put in any effort outside of school hours.
When I get home, I make more rice.
Fernanda finally text back. I text her back right away and then she stops responding. Right, I gotta play those stupid fucking games. Wait thirty to forty-five minutes. God, dating is hard.
I log in to Hulu and catch up on The Good Place. There are a lot of adds for Humera, a drug to help with chrones. I know you shouldn't make fun of chrones disease, I'm sure it sucks. I'm not making fun of chrones, I'm making fun of the ads they kept playing. In one of them, a father couldn't pick up his kids from school because he had to shit instead. In another, a mother kept longingly looking at the bathroom door though out her son's basketball game. I thought it was funny, but what do I know, I don't have chrones.
I just have rice and pears.