I wake up again at about four in the morning. I'm still exhausted but I can tell there is no way I'm going to be able to fall asleep again on this very cold, hard floor. So I read my new book for a few hours (yes it is bright enough to read in there) while I wait for the train a train to take me home at 6:00 am. The book is called The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down and it is about a Hmong family who were refugees in California after the Vietnam War. The youngest daughter of the family, Lea, is diagnosed with epilepsy soon after being born and her condition continues to get worse and worse due to the miscommunication between Lea's parents and her doctors. I thought I would maybe find it relatable to my current situation, because I miscommunicate with my bosses all the time, but it turns out that the Chinese and the Hmong are completely different and the fact that it's medical shit makes Lea and her family's situation just so much worse than mine. Fernanda thinks I'm sad enough and shouldn't be reading such a sad book. I'm definitely not more grateful about my situation after reading it, but I don't think I'm more depressed because I'm reading it either. It is super sad though.
I get on the train, take the hour and a half trip home, and fall asleep on top of my covers at 7:30 in the morning. At 9:00 my alarm goes off. It's time for me to meet with Ryan and Tommy about the movie. I check instagram and they have asked if they can push it back an hour. I say okay, set my alarm for an hour later, and nap again.
The meeting goes well, I think. Ryan gave us some pretty good notes. There were a few things Tommy and I maybe felt slightly different about, but we can take those things in a direction that makes everyone happy. I think this is going to be a good movie, I'm really excited about it. It was also so nice to talk to people who didn't create my DNA. I know it meant a lot more to me than it did to either Ryan or Tommy, but it was really great to see this goes. I miss them a lot. I do with Ryan was a little nicer to me, he could afford to open up a bit. He thinks he is some cool Mr. Big Shot now and is no longer comfortable telling me how much he loves me, which is a bit of a bummer. Loosen up dude, ya know? But it's always great to see Tommy. I'm closer with him and he's a better guy. Ryan used to be cool, but, he's changed.
After the meeting I take another nap. I then feel like that was enough for the day, so I head to the liquor store and watch the pilot of the new Watchmen show. I go absolutely ape shit over it. It's so cool! What a fun show! I then find the Zack Snyder movie streaming illegally online and watch that. I remember everyone shitting on it when it came out. They are right, it's not very good, but the story is still a go story. I remember loving the book in high school but I didn't remember all of it so I just wanted to have a refresher before going back into the show.
While I'm watching, Nancy sends me a really nice text. It basically says, (I'm paraphrasing) "whether you want to stay at the school or not, I would love to have you come over for lunch and to go fishing tomorrow. I have lived in another country before too and I know how hard and lonely it could be. I would like to be your friend. Meet me at the school tomorrow at 10 if you are still interested." This touches me deeply. No one has showed me an act of kindness like this since I've been there. I so badly need a friend and this seems like genuine kindness and not manipulation. I accept immediately.
I start my pig lego for a bit. It is very hard. I have difficulty putting the pieces together and I keep putting blocks in the wrong place. I suck at this sort of shit, but I'm trying to do knew things.
I then crack open a few more beers and illegally stream It Chapter 2. Boy oh boy is this a fun movie to watch while you are drunk and alone. There is so much naked people dancing and Pennywise dancing and people throwing up and weird bugs in fortune cookies. It was just non-stop silly. I had a blast. I highly recommend it. Not scary or as good as the first, but a lot of fun.
While I'm watching, Fernanda checks in on me. She seems like she was depressed and did nothing today too, but she blames it on her menstrual cramps. We talk a bit about the party, but I don't ask if Makai is single or interested in me although I really really want to. It seems like it would be in bad taste. Fernanda also sends me a link to a Nanjing Health &Wellness group in Nanjing. Even other depressed people are worried about me now. It doesn't help that I couldn't go to any of these events even if I wanted to (and I actually do kind of want to. I would have gone if I could.)
I go to bed early. I'm still exhausted from not really sleeping in the train station. What a crazy terrible thing I had to deal with. I am also still taking lots of weird Chinese medicine for my cold. Surprise, surprise, I don't feel better yet. Here is a photo of me with one of my aloe head patches on my head.
