The next morning when I awoke, after masturbating for another hour or two, I began to wrok on my blog again. This is when I wrote my initial I'm trying to catch up blog (still not close to being caught up.) Around 2 in the afternoon, Josie came by hotel to pick me up. I loaded my two suitcases, my two backpacks, and my crate of pears into her car and off we went.
But first we had to stop at school for a second. Josie dropped me off out front and went to park the car as I went upstairs. I went into the office and plopped down on the couch while Peter was busily working on his computer. Five minutes passed, then ten, then 15. No word or sign from Josie. I quickly became bored and started to bother Peter.
"So, Peter, have you ever been to America?"
"No, but my sister lives in Austin."
"Texas?"
"I don't know."
"What is she doing there?"
"She's a physicist."
"Woah that's so cool. Are you going to visit her?"
"No."
"Why not Peter? You have to visit her."
"She is too smart, we have nothing to talk about. I say this is a hamburger, this is a hamburger, and she says this is protein."
"She's probably super into guacamole now."
"It's a dip made with avocado."
"What's an avocado?"
I show Peter a photo of an avocado on my phone. He shrugs and goes back to work. I keep waiting for Josie. I get pretty bored and download a Dr. Mario game on my phone, which is pretty fun but instantly kills my phone battery. Finally, around 5, Josie enters the office.
"Why aren't you reading a book Riley?"
"I didn't bring my books in, I thought I was only going to be here for a second."
Josie looks at Peter. They both shrug.
Then I'm back to work. Pencil, pen, ruler, eraser, pencil case, backpack. Red, Blue, Yellow, Orange, Green, Purple, Pink, White, Black, Gray, Brown. A new one: Circle, Triangle, Rectangle, Square. Riveting stuff.
After work, we head to my new apartment. We drive a block and a half and stop in front of a very large apartment complex. Josie, Peter and I cram into a teeny, dingy, dirty elevator with my two backpack, my two suitcase, and my crate of pears.
I open the door and the first thing I notice is a wall directly in front of me. I turn to my left and see a dinky, filthy little kitchen. There is no oven and no cupboards, just a sink and a stove top with some storage space underneath. (I guess those are cupboards but no eye level cupboards, you know what I mean.) I test the stove top, but nothing happens.
I turn around and head into the living room, which is fairly large and empty except for a couch, a fridge, a small table, and at the far end, a washing machine. There is also a large curtain (made out of paper) with bizarre colorful print of some boats on a lake in front of some mountains.
Next I went into the office. A decent sized room, it held two chairs, a small desk, and another bizarre, extremely colorful curtain. This is by far my favorite room in the house.
Next, the dinky dirty bathroom. There is no separation between the shower and the toilet area. Josie asked if I had bath slippers, which of course I didn't. I have been using flip flops.
And finally, the bedroom. Complete with a big bed, two closets, a small tv screwed into the wall and the only room in the apartment with an air conditioner. Seems pretty decent at first until I hop on the bed. Ouch. There is no mattress on this thing, just some film that looks like it has been gathered from a laundromat. It is less than one hand thick, I can feel each individual piece of wood when I lie on it.
"Where's the mattress?" I ask.
"This is how everyone sleeps in China," Josie responds.
"Do you have a mattress?"
She doesn't answer and walks back into the living room.
"See Riley, here you can live like a King!" says Peter.
"A king without a mattress. What's the WiFi password?"
"The Wifi is not set up yet."
"Great, so not only do I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but I can't work on my blog!"
Neither Josie nor Peter has any idea what I'm talking about. I am furious. I take out my daily planner and begin to just start turning pages and looking at different days. I can't make eye contact with Josie or Peter. They stick around for another 15 minutes, trying to gauge my reaction. I give them nothing.
"Okay, we are going to leave now," Josie says.
"Where are we going?"
"No, we are going to leave. You stay here."
"Oh yeah, that makes more sense."
Josie and Peter leave and I scuttled around my apartment furious. I begin to open drawers and notice trash everywhere.
I find two tubes filled with cement, an old light bulb, some old used toothpaste, two old milk bottles (empty thank god), half a house, various screws and bolts, a broken socket cover, and four stack of what look like some sort of important financial records. I pile them all up in the crate and leave them by a trash can outside.
Feeling down on myself, I head over to the nearby liquor store. I buy a blue Gatorade, a coconut ice cream cone, and a little handle of scotch. As I come back to the apartment, I chug the Gatorade. It tastes really weird, unlike any Gatorade I have ever had. I look more closely at the bottle, it is blueberry flavor. It is the only flavor of Gatorade they have at the store.
I open the coconut ice cream cone and find that the ice cream is pitch black. I start to dig in anyway. It is absolutely delicious. I instantly feel some happiness receptors begin to kick in. It's funny how ice cream really can sort of fix anything.
After finishing the ice cream, my tongue is pitch black. I take a selfie of myself and think I look like Momo, the creepy Japanese sculpture who tries to convince young kids to commit suicide on YouTube by hacking into Peppa Pig cartoons (the Chinese love Peppa Pig and the Minions, they are everywhere.) Mitchell and I used to make Momo jokes all the time. I have an urge to send her the selfie, but I resist.
I lie down on the couch with my blanket and pillow from the bed, and begin to chug my whiskey. I remember I have Return of the Jedi downloaded on my computer. I continue where I left off, right when C-3PO is found and thought to be a god by the Ewoks. I'm a little drunk, but I think the scene is pretty funny and that this Star Wars movie sometimes gets a bad rap. The beginning with Jaba and Boba Fett is pretty cool too. But as the movie goes on, I get drunker, and Emperor Palpetine talks more and more I remember that this movie, is in fact, pretty bad. But it doesn't matter. The ice cream, scotch, and familiar child hood movies have done their job. Despite everything, I fall asleep in a good mood.
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