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Writer's pictureRiley Smith

Desperate for Real Time

I wake up early and keep working on my blog, desperate to catch up to real time in my blog. But I soon lose my passion and start binging comedians in cars getting coffee again. It must have been great to live in a time when you couldn't find something to watch at any point. People must have done all sorts of things. I don't know how anything gets anything done with all this Tv just existing. I guess most people don't.


Around 2:00 pm, I am starving. All I've eaten today is a pear and some cigarettes. Trying to feel adventurous, I head in the opposite direction of where I usually look for food. This is apparently a very bad idea. All I can find are automotive repair shops and giant dogs sleeping in tiny cages. (They really don't treat animals great here. I've seen multiple dogs and cats just lying down and sleeping in the middle of the sidewalk. I don't think they have rescue animals here.) I really hope they weren't food dogs.


Sliding Doors Outlet Mall

I come across an outlet mall and decide this is a good place to look for food. It really isn't. It seems like the entire outlet mall is only filled with sliding door stores. In China, looking for food when you are hungry is awful, because workers are constantly taking their lunches inside of the stores. Multiple times I would see people, sitting at table chowing down on food, and I would get closer to find it was just a door store.


Eventually, I gave up and started to head home. My stomach isn't just grumbling, now its starting to whine and moan. When I'm literally just around the corner from my house, I notice a little Chinese shop I haven't seen before. I walk in, point at something on the wall, and sit down to eat.


Your guess is as good as mine

I have no idea what I'm eating, but it is by far the best thing I have eaten on this trip so far. The onions, peppers and tomatoes are grilled to perfection. There is one of those little jars with chili sauce in it so I can keep drowning my food in spicy. The plate is huge, I've eaten 3/4ths of the food before I remember to take a picture. And it only cost 15 yuan (2 bucks).


I go home and continue blogging, binging tv and smoking cigarettes. Josie calls me at 7:00 pm and tells me to be down stairs in five minutes, which doesn't seem like enough of a heads up for anything, but I oblige. She shows up at my apartment with a giant box she calls "groceries" and scooters off. Inside the box is a dirty wok, a dirty pan, two dirty shot glasses, a dirty butchers knife, two dirty cutting boards and a dirty electric stove top. All of these hand me downs are helpful, but I have till have so much cleaning to do it feels a bit like being given more chores. And I can't do any cleaning until I catch my blog up.


Back to blogging, I'm writing and smoking like a fiend. I take a break and walk down to the liquor store, where I buy more cigarettes, some gummy apple candy, garlic peas, some crunchy circular thingys (I ate five then turned it over and realized it was cereal), a bottle of green tea, and an ice cream bar.


The gummies tasted sort of like you would expect them to, but they fill the bags much more than they do in America which I really appreciate. The garlic peas aren't quite as good as wasabi peas, but they are still pretty good. I barely touch the cereal but it's probably better with milk. The green tea is incredibly sweet but it tastes incredible. I don't know what they put in this stuff, but it's incredible. Apartenly, the brewing factory is in Gaochun so I may have to go take a tour at some point because it is really good.


She wouldn't have to peak from behind the mask if they put eyeholes in it

As soon as I open the ice cream, the room is filled with this sulfuric, eggy smell. I take a bite, it's okay, but the smell is insane. I try to eat it, but the smell is truly revolting. It's like trying to eat a fart. After a few bites, I push the rest of the ice cream into my toilet (I don't want to stink up my garbage can) and flush. The toilet shrieks back at me. They really gotta fix that toilet for me.


Egg Fart Ice Cream

I have no work tonight, so I just keep doing the same shit I've been doing all day. Despite washing my hands a few times, they smell like fart for the rest of the evening. Also, my burps taste like fart. I don't know who the audience for fart flavored desserts is, but it seems like a waste of vanilla ice cream. I've continually tried to drown my sorrows in ice cream treats, but the only one that ever worked was the pitch black coconut ice cream, which I haven't seen at the liquor store since. I have no idea how egg fart ice cream is a more popular dessert.


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