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Writer's pictureRiley Smith

Cleaning Day

Why is it impossible to have two good days in a row? I should have known as soon as soon as I get caught up to real time that today was going to suck.


I forgot to mention that the sun in my window isn't the only thing that wakes me up every morning. Someone is my building is hammering something in to somewhere, and they think 7:00 am is a reasonable time to start.


When I woke up this morning, I found I had received multiple very kind Instagram messages over the night. They were really sweet and put me in such a good mood right at the start of the day. I just wish that mood could have lasted.


For breakfast, I had another pear. I feel like the pears are getting sweeter and juicier, which is good because who doesn't love a sweet and juicy pear, but is bad because it means the pears might go bad soon and I still have like 100 pears.


My shower gets really really hot. Like crazy hot. I usually keep the knob almost directly in the middle. But it only stays hot for about ten minutes, then it doesn't matter if you turn it all the way up, its stays colds. I'm sure this is great for saving water and motivating people to take shorter showers, but it's not great for shaving your testicles.


I have my date with Anne tomorrow night and I'm seeing Salma and friends on Monday, so I thought it would be good to do my manscaping today. I don't know if the razors are sharper in China or if that Dollar Shave Club thing in America is a scam, but I am definitely getting much closer shaves out here. I am also nicking myself much more. Nothing serious, I'm fine now, but my balls were stinging a bit this morning.


Hey, it's cleaning day!

As I've mentioned a few times, my apartment and everything given to me by Josie was filthy, so I decided to make today my cleaning day. I scrubbed the cupboards, scrubbed everything Josie gave me, scrubbed the bathroom floor, cleaned the toilet and swept everywhere. This took me about 3 hours. I don't think I'm that good at cleaning but I really tried my best.


It's a little cleaner?

As I was saying before, there is no hot water in my kitchen sink so it was really taking me a long time to clean each dish. Other than dish soap, the only spray I have is called Natural Magic and because I don't speak Chinese, I have no idea what any of the ingredients are. It seemed to help with the stove top and the wood cupboards, but the walls seemed to get dirtier when I scrubbed them.


Could be worse?

Both the kitchen and my bathroom sink seem to drain very slowly, which is also super annoying. I feel like next week I'm going to have to clean everything again, but I cleaned until I had to get ready for work and everything was passable.


I did the best I could

While cleaning, I listened to Captain Fantastic and The Brown Dirt Cowboy by Elton John (#158, Amazing! Such a great album, I highly recommend it) and Alive! by Kiss (Total Shit.) I thought I was going to hate the Kiss album, then was liking it better than I thought I would, and then just totally hated (At first I thought, better than AC/DC. But no, worse than AC/DC). There was one part that was really funny though. There is this 8 minute drum solo during a song call 100,000,000 years and the lead singer starts screaming in the middle of it, "Alright! Hey everybody ... in this part of the audience ... yell real loud if ... you like to party." A few audience members sort of say woo and I assume the lead singer runs to the other side of the stage because then you hear, "Alright! Everybody in this part of the audience .... yell real loud if ... you like to get high!" A few more cheers. "Alright! Now everybody here tonight ... yell real loud if ... you believe in Rock and Roll!" It's border line children's music.


Before heading to school, I decided to go back to that really cheap place where I had that delicious meal a few days ago. Again I pointed at something one the wall, was brought a plate, and it was very delicious. It was a beef and onion thing, not quite as good as what I had the other day, but still very good, especially when I drowned it in chili flakes. But this time, my meal was 38 yuan, over twice what I paid last week. I really hope they aren't ripping me off and I ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, because I don't want to stop going there. Until I get paid again, though, I think I'm going to stick to rice and noodle dishes.


Twice as expensive and half as good, but third best meal of the trip

I was meeting Laura at the campus near my apartment to take a cab over to there further campus at 2:15, but I got there a little early so I could go to the convenience store and buy some aluminum foil and tape to black out my bedroom window. They, of course, didn't have aluminum foil or tape, but I bought four wash clothes (for my next cleaning,) chopsticks, a bowl, a spoon, a mug and a bag of coffee.


While we are walking towards the car, Laura pulls out an umbrella.


"Worried about the rain?" I ask.

"It's for the sun," she laughs.


Normally, I don't work at 2:30 on Fridays. I work at 3:30 on all weekdays, but Josie said this week I could start work at 4 on Wednesday and Thursday leave a little early so I could do this special thing on Friday. On the ride over, Laura asks if Josie had told me that I would be this every week.


"No," I say pretty angrily. But I breathe deeply and maintain my composure. Would me have knowing early from Josie herself made any difference? Probably not.


When I get to the school, I ask Laura what the lesson plan is. She tells me there isn't one. Then she tells me she has to go back to the other school now, but I will be teaching kindergarten, which in China is 3 to 6. She then leaves.


As I wait for class to start, I check my phone and see a message from my mom asking for the rest of her money back next week. This is, sadly, the money I have already spent on my plane ticket to Bali. I thought I had talked to her about it, (I'm pretty sure I mentioned it in the blog), but I found no record of it in my messages. I am suddenly racked with guilt and shame.


Than the kids flood in. I have nothing for them. I just say animals and act like them for 45 minutes, which seems to keep them occupied. Then the next group of kids they are even younger and have no idea what animals I am doing. I try colors but that seems to hard for them too. These kids are so young, there eyes can't even focus. I end up counting to five for 40 minutes, but by the end of the class the only number any of the kids know is one.


I am so worried about being poor at this point I decide to do the hour long walk from one campus to the other. (I don't deserve a cab anyway) I hyperventilate about money the entire walk over. I am starving, but just get a shitty 10 yuan chicken sandwich to tide me over until I get to campus.


As soon as I walk in, Josie gives me a hard time for walking instead of taking a cab. She then sits me down and asks me how much it cost to ship the document she told me she would ship back to the united states (I had to sign a form for my whole I got hit by a fire truck thing.) I fucking hate these guessing games Josie keeps doing.


"50 yuan"

"No"

"100 yuan"

"No"

"200 yuan?!"

"No"

"300 yuan?"

"No"

"400 yuan?!?"

"384 yuan."


Jesus Christ, so I have to pay her back for this now too. For those of you doing the math, I am now at 1,150 yuan. (About 160 bucks) This has to last me 25 days. I can spend $6.50 or 45 yuan a day.


Then Josie tells me the Chinese Government needs my Authentication from the Chinese Embassy to get my residency permit. I tell her, for the millionth time, that I turned this in with my visa application and that I don't have it. Josie calls her contact and tells me that they say this has never happened before and that people always come to China with their authentication forms. So, for the second time in 8 days, I start to cry again. Josie tries to calm me down and keeps saying everything will be all right. This only makes things worse, so Josie leaves me alone in the office.


I suck up my tears and breathe heavily for a moment. I look at instagram and everyone is posting about Maggie Rogers. Maggie was Mitchell's favorite singer.


I go into the bathroom to wash my face off and notice that the school bathroom has no toilet bathroom. I make a mental note to never shit here.


Then I teach another 3 hours of class. I have to sing and dance with the kids, teach them jobs (firefighter, police officer, teacher), teach them letters (a-g), teach them objects (tape, crayon, paper) and teach them emotions (happy, sad, angry, sleepy, scared) all while acting like I am happy to be there. I feel like I'm doing some of the best acting I have done in years. When I teach emotions, I get a little emotional and go a little nuts. The kids love it. My performances of scared and angry really get them going.


After work, I come home exhausted. I do a little research on getting scuba certification in Bali so I can go scuba diving with Shaya and Chanel, but there is just no way I can afford it. I feel so dejected. I was hoping to write a little fiction today, but I can barely muster up the energy to work on my blog.


As I write, I get a text from Josie. She is downstairs with a mattress.


Normally, I would be upset with Josie for showing up unannounced so late at night. But right now I could kiss her on the mouth (I don't). I run down stairs, grab my new mattress and run back up. It is still the thinnest mattress I have ever owned, but at least it is more than two hands thick. I unmake my bed, stack it on top of whatever was there before, and make it again.


4 1/2 Hands

A glimmer of hope. My back has been killing me. I'm worried about money, I'm worried about food, I'm worried about ever having fun again. But maybe I'll sleep a little better tonight. At least, until the sun and the hammers start up again tomorrow.

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