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Writer's pictureRiley Smith

Back to the Present

That's right, bitches! I did it. We are caught up and back in real time. I apologize for all of those technical difficulties, but hopefully, going forward, I can keep the blog in real time so I won't miss anymore juicy details. I'm sure I've lost some details already that I will never remember (they have gone off to live in the ether), but here are a few of my favorite memories that I have remembered I forgot.


Peter told me he doesn't like any fruit. He also said vegetables are okay, but only if there is meat. I think this guys gonna get scurvy.


The hardest I have ever heard Peter laugh is when I said, "Peter loves to help me out."


The boss owner lady who touches me too much, when she first meet me, told Josie I was a "sunshine boy."


When I first got to Gaochun, I noticed that all of the scooters didn't have keys. I thought it was so nice that this town was so peaceful and safe that everyone just trusted that they wouldn't steal each others scooters. Then I noticed that all of the scooters have keys.


Married women in China do not wear wedding rings. So I have no idea who I'm allowed to hit on or not. I didn't realize how much I ring checked until I got here. There have been multiple women I have assumed were single who introduced me to their young children. I probably shouldn't hit on anyone while I'm here anyway (other then Salma, i think it's a good idea to hit on her. Or one of her friends)


The only time I have seen anyone use the elevator in my apartment, they were carrying a giant wheelbarrow filled with dirt.


The first time I tried to put up my curtain in my office, the whole thing fell off the wall. It now just sits in the corner of my office.

Whoops!

Whenever I shave, Josie calls me handsome. I think they really hate facial hair here in China.


My shaving cream smells like lime. The only words in English on the bottle are "Gillette" and "Foamy."


In the corner of my bathroom, there is a little pipe that sticks out of the ground. Whenever I have to pee while showering, I pee in this pipe. I remember reading somewhere that they put a picture of a fly in some urinals and it highly decreased the amount of pee spray that fell on the floor because all the men had something to am at. This pipe is my fly picture.


Piss Pipe


I am still listening to the Rolling Stones 500 greatest albums of all time. While here, I have listened to 134 (Notorious B.I.G. Ready to Die) through 157 (Joy Division Closer).


I'm sure more beautiful details will come back to me, I will try to either sneak those into other days or do a future catch up blog. Hopefully there will be no more technical difficulties and I can remain in the present for the rest of the blog. Thank you for understanding.



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