At Least it's not Rice or Pears

I wake up at 6:00 am, completely dehydrated. I still have no water in the house, so I take Benji and hit the road in search of water. All of the stores are in town are closed. After 15 minutes of driving around, aimless and miserable, I find one liquor store that is open. They don't have any regular water, but they do have peach flavored water so I buy one of those. I drink the entire bottle without removing it from my lips. It tastes disgusting and I still feel pretty dehydrated.

On the way back to my apartment, I find a steamed bun stand that is open. I try to order three steamed buns, but this is difficult because I don't speak Chinese. I am served three steamed soy milks. I give them back and eventually get three steamed buns. I eat two and then fall back asleep.

I wake up, still extremely dehydrated, eat my other chive and shrimp steamed bun and head to my local liquor store to buy a giant water bottle. When I return to my apartment, I get another call from another school. They are worried my school won't write me a release letter. I tell them that the school will release me, but they will write me a bad recommendation. The school says that this doesn't matter, they want me anyway. So I still can get out. Hope may return.

My mother calls me and asks if I am mad at her. I admit I am and explain my feelings about the Bali situation. She immediately begins to weep. Apparently, I miss understood her. She always desperately wanted me to come home, she just didn't express it immediately because she wanted me to make the decision for myself. I tell her I wanted her to agree with me when I said I wanted to go to Bali. This only makes her weep more. I tell her I am applying for other schools so hopefully I can fix my situation. This makes her weep slightly less, but she still continues to weep. I would say, based on these reactions, that this experience has been harder on her then it has been on me, but I also know how hard this experience has been on me. I just don't weep in front of my mom (instead I weep in front of Josie and Boss Lady. I may have, in the rush to not go into details, downplayed how upset I was last night when Boss Lady said she would not write me a good recommendation. I may have openly wept in front of her and called her "cruel" and "heartless." Maybe.)

I fall back asleep and nap for a bit. Getting hammered and having feelings can be pretty exhausting.

I awake and go deposit my money at the bank. This takes much longer than it should because I don't speak Chinese. I have to ask a teller to push the buttons on the ATM for me so I can deposit my cash.

While at the bank, I get a text from Fernanda. She says she would love to get dinner with me Sunday, but want's to make sure it's not a date because she has a boyfriend back in Brazil. (Now you know where she is from, happy?) She also asks if she can bring friends from work along. I respond, "Hahahahaha of course it's not a date. Bring as many friends as you can, the more the merrier. I could use as many friends as possible." (Of course, I was hoping it would be a date but I can't admit that now. I just have to accept the friend zone and hope she has a cute friend who falls in love with me.)

It's still a little early for me to head to school, so I stop at a local cafe and order some noodles. They are pretty good. Actually, probably the best noodles in China I have had so far. But surprisingly, China noodles have most been disappointing. They are too thin and greasy. These noodles, though nothing special, are at least, fat and not painfully greasy. I can tell the waiters are disappointed with me though, I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu. After watching me eat for a few minutes, they bring me a fork because they feel sorry for me. I refuse to use them though. I won't let China beat me. I will use chopsticks no matter how long it takes me to finish my meals.

At least it's not rice or pears

I still have another 45 minutes to kill so I take Benji for a ride and just head past the school campus. I listen to Radiohead and mope as I zig-zag Benji through a local park. I guess this cheers me up a little, but in a depressing, I'm alive in this beautiful painful world kind of way. After about 30 minutes, I head back to the cafe where I first ordered a fruit pizza with Josie and Peter when they told me I could live in Nanjing and order a Columbian coffee that is incredibly over priced. It takes them way to long to make and I have to chug it so I'm not late for work.

While I'm teaching the kindergartners, I suddenly smell a terrible smell. Its fairly obvious one of the students has shit their pants, but I can't tell which one it was. Some of the students may know, because everyone becomes very uncomfortable and the children all begin to speak to me in Chinese at the same time. I do not understand any of them, due to my lack of any comprehension of the Chinese language. I can't believe they don't give me a T.A. to teach Chinese 3 year olds. These kids are practically begging me to fix the situation, but there is nothing I can do because I have no idea what is going on and no one to help me. At least, that's what I think the kids are doing. I really have no idea, I don't speak Chinese.

Some of the students, rather then giving me high fives, have started trying to kiss my hands. This makes me very uncomfortable and I always pull my hands away and tell them "no, that is not okay!" but this only makes the children laugh and try to kiss me more. I can't think of a creepier thing then having students kiss your hands (I guess I can, but I don't want too.) This is all so inappropriate. I end up taking one student who keeps trying to kiss my hand and forcing her to sit in the corner. This makes her cry quite a bit. The school should really give me a T.A.

After school, we all have to dance with the kindergartners again. Today's song is, and I really wish I was kidding, a Chinese techno remix of that "Barbie Girl in a Barbie Word" song. I'm starting to think I died in the firetruck accident and this is Hell.

I head back to the main campus and try to order some food for delivery, but can't figure out if I am ordering to the right location. I get Sakey to come help me. I was ordering food to the right location. Thanks Sakey. I guess this can't be hell. Hell would never have a woman as beautiful as Sakey.

I find out the name of the woman who isn't Peter's girlfriend but is married and Peter probably has a crush on. It's Nancy. She seems very nice and I guess has worked here for a while and just happened to be sick when I first started working here. She adds me on WeChat and says she hopes to be my friend. This is all very nice.

I have no more breaks until the end of the day, but in between classes I need to shit. I run to the bathroom but forget to steal toilet paper from the children's bathroom. Luckily, there are a few Kleenex in the bathroom. Unluckily, these Kleenex are incredibly damp. But beggars cant's be choosers. I wipe my ass with the wet toilet paper and finish my classes.

I go home to finish my gin and watch more stupid Schitts Creek. Is this my life now? Recovering from hangovers, hating work, and then getting drunk again? I came to China to improve myself and my life, but I'm still the same shitty old me. I can no longer tell if China is making me depressed, or if I am depressed and that is making China depressing. Something has to change, and soon, but I don't know who or what or how. So I just keep drinking and keep watching this show I don't like until I fall asleep.