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Writer's pictureRiley Smith

A Lonely Sweater and a Sick Ass Fidget Spinner

I had a dream last night were I was traveling the world, but I had some form of amnesia. I was staying in a lovely winter cabin with a dream friends and family and we were taking a lovely walk around the block. In the dream, everyone kept asking about my last three months traveling and I kept telling them I didn't remember anything. They also kept talking about how we had just played baseball together the day before, but I didn't remember any of that either. Despite all that, I was happy to be with loving people who cared at me and tried to live in the moment and enjoy it.


Then I woke up. It was the middle of the night. After a few minutes, I realized it was all a dream. I remembered I live in China and went back to sleep.


I had another dream. In this dream, I was living the plot of recent indie horror flick "Ready or Not," except it took place on a high school campus instead of a fancy mansion. (I successfully hid in the boys locker room, no one looked for me there because there were so many dongs.) After surviving of the game, I went to a screening of a documentary mad by Nora Lang about the dangerous hide and seek game that I just played. The crowd was incredibly rowdy and talked throughout the film, which was very distracting. The documentary also had footage of us watching the documentary at the screening in real time. Either all of these dreams are complete nonsense, or a psychoanalyst is going to have a field day with my blog.


I woke up completely zonked. These crazy dreams do not make for restful nights.


At work today, Nancy invited me over to come fishing during my day off. I thought this was very sweet, especially since I didn't even know her name until a few days ago. I accepted.


In one of my classes today, I had to read a story about making soup to the children. The characters put pepper, salt, ketchup and sugar in their soup. This sounds like some nasty ass soup.


During my break, I take a long nap on the couch. This barely helps, but at least I didn't dream.


When I wake up, I see that Josie has now entered the office. She looks like a mess. Whenever I see Josie now, her hair is all messed up and her eyes are all puffy. She looks like she has been crying constantly. After my showdown with stupid Boss Lady (I also forgot to mention she tried to shake my hand after the conversation and I refused,) I noticed crying in the teacher's lounge surrounded by the other teachers. I have a hunch I have made her life a living hell. I also have a hunch she is talking shit about me to all the other teachers. I feel a little sorry for her, but I still mostly feel "fuck you for lying to me all the time."


I'm going to spell this wrong, but I have been obsessed with Xiao Long bao since eating those delicious truffle soup dumplings in Shanghai. I order some for delivery, but they are terrible. I tell Peter in America we call them soup dumplings and Peter tells me they are not dumplings. I don't know how they are not dumplings, they are still little folded meat things, but I drop the argument.


When break ends, I notice Sakey and Cindy coming back from getting food together, giggling. Are Cindy and Sakey an item? That makes so much sense. I never would have clocked Sakey as a lesbian, but Cindy fits the description perfectly. And Sakey is kind of masculine, I think I have a thing for slightly masculine women. Of course! It all makes sense now. Cindy and Sakey have to be secretly dating. I can't believe I didn't see it before. I'm such a god damn idiot.


I still feel super sick, so I head down to the pharmacy and have the lady behind the counter help me by some medicine. I am pretty sure she upsells me, because I leave with a box of strange vials of liquid, a box of strange green pills, a box of cough drops, and a box of aloe vera head pads. I don't really care though. I'm desperate for anything. I take all of them.


I'm pretty sure a lot of the time people in China buy clothes with English writing on them but have no idea what the writing means. Today, Nancy is wearing a sweater that says lonely. This is a woman who got married less then two weeks ago. This is also not the first time I have seen her wear this sweater, I think it's one of her favorites. I seriously doubt she knows what lonely means.


I let Josie know I am out of water so after work the water guy comes over to take my old bottle and bring me a new one. He brings his 16 year old daughter with him, who is very interested in me and begins to ask me lots of questions. This is very uncomfortable. I can tell her dad doesn't like us talking and I can tell she is trying to flirt with me, but I can't just ignore her. Thankfully, it doesn't take long to change the water bottle so they leave quickly.


Feeling sorry for myself, I decide to splurge and order a giant pizza supreme from a local pizzeria. It costs me almost ten dollars, but when it arrives, it is a personal barbecue pizza. It tastes fine, I guess, but I couldn't be more disappointed. I really wanted to binge eat.


I forgot to take a picture today, so here is a picture of my sick ass fidget spinner. It's got fireballs on it, isn't that cool? See, don't worry about me. My life's not so bad. I have a sick ass fidget spinner. It's things like sick ass fidget spinners that make life worth living.


This Fidget Spinner is Sick Ass (and the only thing that keeps me going)

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