8:30, back to Nanjing

I wake up at 8:15, eat a pear, put on some deodorant, and run out to meet Josie. I'm still feeling sick, but maybe slightly less sick? I again bring my switch and just play "Link's Awakening" the whole ride up.

When we get to Nanjing, Josie can't find parking so she just stops in the middle of the street and looks at her phone for parking spots. Cars honk and drive through oncoming traffic to pass us, but Josie doesn't care. She finally finds an area and drives around for another 20 minutes before finally finding another parking spot about 5 blocks from the visa office.

As we walk over, I notice an old man hammering at a metal box covered in some weird foam substance. I have no idea what this box could have originally been, but I assume the man was hoping to remove some metal so he could sell the scraps.

I have a secret hope that my visa isn't going to go through and that I am going to be deported to Hong Kong. I would get paid time off work and get to see Hong Kong, it sounds kind of like an exciting adventure and a hell of a lot better than Gaochun. The visa officer asks me if I have ever applied for a visa as an Australian. I tell her I haven't and she says that it says in her system that my passport has been used to apply for a work visa as an Australian. I tell her again I haven't and she seems to move on easily.

"Where was your place of birth?"

"California."

The visa officer rolls her eyes.

"America?"

"Yes."

To the left of me, a man from the UK is yelling at another visa officer. He has had a death in the family and is trying to get back home to get to the funeral. The visa office is refusing to give him his passport back and he is livid. I hear him yell "THANK YOU! SO MUCH! FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING!" before he walks out. He over enunciates every word to make the visa officer feel stupid, but I don't think it works. I'm sure these people deal with this shit all the time.

I, however, have no more issues (damn.) The visa officer takes my passport and gives me a receipt to come pick it up later.

As we walk back to the car, I tell Josie about my stove and my difficulty ordering food to my apartment. Josie tells me I have been ordering using the wrong app (even though she taught me how to order food in the first place,) takes my phone, downloads another app and types a bunch of stuff in. She tells me one is the address of the school and the other is the address of my apartment.

Josie says she is thirsty and asks if I would like a drink. "Sure." We start walking towards a little coffee shop, which is great, I could really go for some coffee, when Josie says, "No, not here I don't like coffee." Josie knows I love coffee and I'm sure they sell things other then coffee. She walks inside a liquor store a few blocks later and grabs a water bottle. I end up just grabbing a water bottle too.

On the drive home, Josie twice has to slam on the breaks to avoid hitting other cars. At this point, I'm tempted to ask her to let me drive. Her car is a BMW minivan. I have no idea how she can afford such a nice car.

When we get back to my apartment, Josie offers to call someone to fix my stove but I tell her it can wait until I get back because I want to go now. I run up to my apartment, quickly pack, hop on my ebike, ride over to the subway, and get on a train.

On the subway, I noticed a man continuing to stare at my switch. When I put it in my backpack to get off the train, he stared at the pocket I put it in. I suddenly became very paranoid about someone trying to steal my switch and kept an eye on him and continually checked my pocket in the train station to make sure no one had taken it.

I went to the ticket station and typed into my Mr. Translator app, "One ticket to Shanghai." There was a train leaving in 30 minutes that only had first class seats. "Do you have anything cheaper?" The only available cheaper ticker was in 2 hours and was standing room only. "I'll take the first class ticket then." It cost 250 RMB (about $35).

The whole time I was walking towards the train station, I was paranoid I wouldn't be able to get to Shanghai. I didn't have my passport, only a receipt to collect it, so I was terrified I wouldn't even be able to buy a ticket. When I got to the security check, people were scanning there Chinese ID cards or passports, by my receipt wouldn't scan. I was pulled aside to another area where I approached a Chinese security guard. Again, I started to get anxious. She took one look at the receipt, looked at me, and then let me through.

At the metal detector, two security guards were playing grab ass with each other, which I though was slightly unprofessional but mostly adorable. I always enjoy seeing people have fun at work. There was a bucket next to the metal detector, so I took out my keys, phone and wallet and dropped them in before I walked through. Once I got to the other side, I realized that was just a regular bucket. I hopped around saying "My stuff! My stuff!" until finally the two men playing grab ass noticed me. They looked at the bucket, saw what I had done, and the three of us shared a big heart laugh. We all spanked each other one last time and I went on my way.

As soon as I was in the train station, I was suddenly filled with an elation that is hard to describe. I started giggling out load to myself. I was getting out. I was leaving. Even though it wasn't where I had wanted to go and I still was going to be in China and not know anyone, I wasn't going to be in Gaochun. I was escaping. The train station tasted like freedom and freedom tastes very sweet.

I had fifteen minutes to kill, so I walked up to one of the fast food stations and bought some fried dumplings. They were a little burned and probably not of the highest quality, but I didn't care. I was so hungry and they tasted so good. I think they had some freedom flavoring sprinkled on that might have affected my perception, but it was one of the best meals I had tasted so far.

I ate them all within 3 minutes

I got on the train and showed my ticket to one of the conductors, who gestured for me to walk further down the train. I walked, car through car, unable to find my section. I had entered in car 12, my seat was in car 7. When I got to the end of car 8, there were no longer doors in between cars. As I tried to step off the train, the doors closed in front of me. I was stuck in car 8, and forced to be in standing room only for the first half of my trip to shanghai (about 40 minutes.) I was forced to stand next to the train toilets, which smelled terrible and forced me to constantly move when people came in or out.

I don't know if this is the right lesson to take from all this, but it served me as a reminder to never get too excited. That elation in the train station gave me a blind spot, and that's maybe why I hopped on the wrong train. Don't get too happy Riley. It always means something is gonna fuck up real soon.

When I finally switched to the first class train, there was a woman in my seat sitting next to her baby soon. I told her she was in my seat and she said I was wrong. I looked around, and then walked back saying I was pretty sure she was in my seat. She got up and just stood in front of her son's seat. She fed him a banana as he watched tv as I just sat next to them.The whole thing made me very uncomfortable. A seat opened up and the mother asked me to move to it, which I did but didn't like doing. If this woman wanted a separate seat for her son, she should have bought him a train ticket, especially if he was going to take up a first class seat. About three minutes later, the man came back. He had gone to the bathroom, not gotten off the train. So I kicked the mother out of her seat again. About ten minutes later, the woman pointed to another seat about 6 rows down with an empty seat. I moved again and was undisturbed for the rest of the ride. As soon as I moved seats, the woman plopped her son down on her lap, leaving my seat unoccupied for the remainder of the ride.

When I arrived at the Shanghai station, there was no 4G reception so it was difficult to make my plans for the evening. The Shanghai station was packed. I waited in line to get in the subway station for ten minutes before realizing I had to get a new metro card, my Nanjing metro would not work here. There were more white people in the Shanghai station than I had seen anywhere else in China so far and this is were I first discovered the phenomenon I will call white eye contact. It doesn't happen as much with white people who I assume don't speak English, but sometimes while walking you see another white person and you make eye contact and, although both of you know neither of you are going to say anything to each other, your eyes seem to scream "Help me, I have no idea what the fuck is going on." I made white eye contact twice in the Shanghai subway station, and have continued to make it many times since.

On the subways in Shanghai, the walls of the train tunnel are covered in flip book advertisements. Still images for Sketchers or Bud Light are posted on the walls and as the drives by quickly the images seem to move to create an advertisement. This city already seems way cooler than Nanjing and I haven't even got off the subway yet.

I got off at a train station that seemed to be pretty central and began to try to book a hotel online. Because I am a foreigner, most hotels would not take an online reservation. So I just picked a hotel, a Hanting, and walked there.

The hotel check in took a very long time(about 45 minutes), but eventually worked. We had to use my translator app constantly. The hostesses at the front kept trying to push the Continental breakfast on me for an additional 12 yuan a night. I kept telling them I didn't want it and that I wouldn't eat it, but after 30 minutes relented and said fine. I think they maybe felt bad about this, because they then gave me a discount on my room. I had booked for a whole week though, and I already knew those breakfasts were gonna be total crap. As soon as my room was booked, I ran upstairs to put my stuff down and take a much needed shower.

A Hanting Bathroom

The room seemed fine. It was probably of a slightly lower than Motel 8 quality. The room smelt a bit like old ciggies and the bed was pretty hard, but still much more comfortable than my mattress in Gaochun.

A Hanting Room

I then went back down to the subway and headed out to explore the city a little. There were ads for Domino's Pizza on the train. Online Pizza Hut, Domino's is still shitty, dirt cheap pizza here. There was also a tv on the train which was muted, but seemed to be playing some massive musical performance with thousands of dancers and about 8 singers. There were lots of big screens behind them showing elaborate moving designs and big multicolored lights flashing everywhere. At a certain point, a large cgi whale jumped over all the performers. I have no idea how that would have worked in a live performance.

In Shanghai, there are three really really tall buildings you can go up and get crazy cool views of the city, the Shanghai Tower, the Shanghai World Trade Center (I know, it was built in 2010 too) and the Oriental Pearl Tower (not racist, that's what it's really called.) I decided going to the highest point on the tallest and least uncomfortably named, the Shanghai Tower, would be a great way to start my vacation in Shanghai.

Oriental Pearl Tower (I sweat that's what it's called)

I feel the excitement of going up to a really high place start bubbling up. I try to squash down my good feelings, but it's too late. I get to the tower and they tell me it's too cloudy to go up.

Another time, Shanghai Tower

As I walk back towards the subways, I find some very drunk Americans yelling loudly. I follow them for a bit and listen to their conversation which is mostly unintelligible, but at least it's unintelligible English. I don't say anything though, I'm too shy and sober. I get back on the subway and head towards the Bund, which is supposed to have the best view of the Shanghai skyline as well as some nice bars.

I start walking over from the metro and the streets are packed. I try to take a shortcut down a side street, but when I head back towards the main street the police are blocking my bath. The police are physically acting as traffic lights, marching to stop and let through traffic. At first, I'm worried there has been some sort of incident, but everyone else on the street seems to think this is normal so I just go along with it.

Human Traffic Lights (Cops)

When I finally get down to the Bund, they suddenly start a massive light show, which the crowd goes nuts for. Traditional Chinese music blasts through the speakers and all of the tall buildings in the skyline begin blasting different colored lights. It lasts for about 20 minutes, and it's actually pretty cool. I sit and watch the whole thing, and I wouldn't call myself a big light guy. I wonder to myself if they do this every night, but that doesn't seem sustainable.

Disco baby

Next to the Bund is something I read about online called the Bund Sightseeing Tunnel, which was described as "trippy," "mind-bending," and a "must-see." I headed in and on the walls were all these brightly colored ads on video screens for all sorts of various products, but it made me feel like I was entering some futuristic mental health clinic. The place seemed pretty empty, but that didn't phase me. I paid my 80 RMB and hopped on.

The train itself seemed cool, but as soon as I got on it I realized it was a stupid tourist trap. The train, despite it's seemingly state of the art cars, moved incredibly slowly. The tunnel was split into different sections, which were announced in both English and Chinese when entered, and all of which where incredibly dull. Some of my favorites were "Massive Magma" which had photos of magma on the walls, "Paradise and Hell" which had a maniacal laugh and shiny rocks, and "Fossil Variants" which seemed to have absolutely nothing.

Massive Magma

On the other side of the tunnel was some submarine attraction that would have cost me another 60 yuan and nothing else. I took a picture of the submarine attraction, but I wasn't gonna pay for that shit. So I turned around and headed straight back.

What the hell am I doing with my life?

During the return trip, I was the only person in my car. I started dancing to freak out the people in the cars going in the other direction. It was sort of fun and maybe made me loosen up a little, but I was really trying, ya know? It's been a while since I have had natural fun, which would be really nice.

Underwater section

When I get back to the Bund, I head to Bar Rouge which was a bar recommended on Trip Advisor. The light show starts up again, but it's instantly less interesting on a second viewing. The Bar Rouge is inside of a hotel/bar called the Bund 8. The whole building reeks of probably really fancy/nice perfume. I take an elevator to the 8th floor and exit to find a door man in front of the bar. It costs 100 yuan to get inside. That seems a bit high to me, so I turn around and walk out. It doesn't even occur to me that I'm willing to spend 80 yuan to go on a stupid train but I won't spend 100 to get into a fancy bar. But I guess that's the kind of guy I am.

I find another place on Trip Advisor, Lost Heaven, that is nearby, has a rooftop bar, and is supposed to have incredible spicy noodles. It's closed when I get there (duh.) I find another nearby bar called the Captain and head there instead. There is a line to get inside, but at this point I just need a drink. While waiting in line, I meet two bro-y German tech entrepreneurs who seem like nice enough guys, but they excuse themselves from the conversation pretty quickly to go talk to some prostitutes they were meeting. The man at the front door who is holding the line keeps asking me how many are in my party and I keep having to say 1. It's quite sad and humiliating.

Although the Captain does have a rooftop bar attached, there is also and indoor section where the actual bar is. I am seated in the corner of the actual bar, as far from the windows and rooftop and as out of sight as possible. I order some fancy rum mixed drink, slowly sip it in the corner, and then leave without speaking with anyone else. It cost me 100 yuan.

As I head back towards the subway station, the light show starts up again. It seems like they are doing it every half hour. I see a couple grab each others hands and run up to get a good view. I get a little jealous. I've never been in love like that. You know, where the two of us are excited just to be with each other and will run to see stupid things because its an excuse to hold hands. I've only ever loved people who haven't felt anything back for me. Maybe someday though, it's nice that these people are happy.

The police have closed even more roads at this point so I have to walk even longer and farther out of the way to get to the metro station. On multiple building are posters for a new Chinese watch ad campaign featuring Buzz Aldrin. I wonder how many Chinese people know what he looks like, but I guess I'm sort of surprised I know what he looks like too. I maybe only know because of that episode of the Ali G show.

On the subway back to my hotel, I realize I was an idiot for thinking that the ads on the sides of the subway were flip books. They are tons of video screens next to each other playing the same video ad at the same time. I realize this because the ads are different and not played backwards on the way back. So much for ingenious design.

Stone (Cold) Brewery

About two blocks from my hotel, I see a Stone Brewery and head in for another drink. The beers are reasonably priced (50RMB) and strong. I am the only person alone in the bar and that only makes me feel lonelier. At least I have my beer though. That's something. A cold beer is always a good friend. It never laughs at you or calls you names. I tastes good. I can't really ask for much more than that these days.

Nightcap

When I get back to my hotel, I hop in the elevator and a couple gets in right behind me. They begin to smooch as we go upstairs. I let out a massive fart. The couple didn't even react. So I fart again. Still nothing. I really wish I had shit myself on that elevator, just so I could get something out of those people, but I guess I'm not quite there yet.